You work out of a Hotel?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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