Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
