literally had 100 drinks last night.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
