I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
