I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
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Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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