What did we do last night that was yellow?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
