Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
