Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
