walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
