She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
