WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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