yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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