Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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