i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
