just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
