Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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