shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
thus making me awesome and them whores
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
