he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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