Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
