he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
