ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
