Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
