It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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