My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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