ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
