It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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