Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
