Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
