Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
