I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
