Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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