Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize