I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
