I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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