I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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