if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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