I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A bitchslap is in order.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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