Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
