dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
