You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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