you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
