I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
