I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
