The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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