operation harelip BJ is a go
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
