ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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