Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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