He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
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Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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