Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize