You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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