dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
