i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
BRING THE BAGELS
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
