How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
