I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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