honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
