no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
