Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
