yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
