You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
