can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
