dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
