i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
