I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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